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454. Mental maturity

Mental maturity  is the ability to respond  to the environment in the correct time at appropriate manner. A matured person is able to keep commitments, even when they are no longer new or novel. They can commit to continue doing what is right even when they don’t feel like it.

Generally, people grow matured when they become old.  As people mature, they sooner or later understand that nothing is as good as it seems and nothing is as bad as it seems. Mature people can receive compliments or criticism without letting it ruin them or sway them into a distorted view of themselves. They are secure in their identity.

We see or hear about incidents where public figures display immature behavior in front of others rather inadvertently while playing games, giving interviews to the press, debating with political opponents, participating in competitions, or attending meetings and public forums organized by government bodies. Their true colour is getting exposed by their behavior.

Mental growth refers to an all-round development of various mental faculties, whereas maturity refers to the use of reason, objectivity and commonsense in thinking and behavior. It also refers to self-control, rationality, and emotional maturity. Maturity comes from using the higher faculties of the mind and having control over the baser instincts of human behavior.

To deal with reality in a constructive manner, we must face truth, the facts, rather than deny them. Running from problems or hoping they do not exist does not make them go away. Regardless of how unpleasant they may be at times, facing the facts is the first step to dealing with any situation.

Let us see how to develop mental maturity.  We should accept others with their good and bad qualities. We should not try to correct the mistakes of others, as we may also commit lot of mistakes. We should try to approach the problems of others from their perspectives. We should not keep any expectations from others, as we cannot fulfill any desire of theirs. We should not try to prove that we are intelligent. We should not compare ourselves with others, as every individual in this world is unique.

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427. Sukshma sakthi and our body

The sakthi which controls our mind and unites the emotions with the body is called Sukshma sakthi. When we think about a pace, our mind goes there immediately, irrespective of the distance.  When we do deep thinking about bad things or bad people, our sukshma sakthi decreases our strength and causes self-pity. But, if we pray to God to relieve us from bad things and safeguard us from bad people, the  sukshma sakthi in our body helps us to geet peace of mind and strength.

We call people who uses this Sukshma sakthi as “Mahaan“.  When some people cook food, it becomes tasty and when others cook in the similar way, we maynot get the same taste. The Sukshma sakthi in the form of Pranasakthi is the reason for it. Some people get cured from severe disease without any medicine, with the help of this Pranasakthi. When we visit temples or Jeeva Samathi of great Mahaan, our Sukshma sakthi increases.

When we move away from nature, our Sukshma sakthi, we will loose our Sukshma sakthi. Except man, all the Jeevarasis in the world, think and act with Sukshma sakthi alone. We should allow the Pancha Bootha Prana sakthi to flow in the atmosphere around us. Our body parts should co-ordinate well with Sukshma sakthi, to lead a healthy life. When our Sukshma sakthi gets ill, our body also gets ill.

We should walk for sometime daily  without, wearing cheppal or shoe.  Our feet should get direct contact with the earth. When we think about some act deeply, we get the energy to do that act.

So, let us use the sukshma sakthi in the good way to achieve good things in life.

390. Awaken your strongest Self

You can reduce or resolve the problems of stress, fear, inner conflict,  feeling confused, self-criticism, self-blame, struggle and loneliness by awakening your strongest self.

If  you are a sportsperson, you can use sports to have a row-risk, fun and quick way to practice expanding your sense of self beyond your conscious mind and will power.  If you know yoga, it can be used to practice meditation to achieve mindfulness.  When you expand your identity beyond the isolated, lesser parts of your personality and ego, you integrate your conscious and sub-conscious resources, making it easier to face life’s challenges from a centre of  inner peace and support.

It is essential to create an own protective atmosphere all around you, at the time of stress. You have to choose actions that are congruent  with your high values. You should learn to live in the present moment instead of  regretting about the past or anticipation of the future. You should focus on what can be done rather than feeling about loss and misfortune.

It is normal to experience a rush of energy at the start of any large project or challenging event or  when we create images of multiple tasks  in multiple time frames. It is also normal  to be overwhelmed by  conflicting emotions, such as attraction  and fear of getting hurt. Feeling overwhelmed puts us into a frozen  stage.  By awakening our strongest self, we can attain normal stage.

By focusing  on a stronger life passion, you can reap the benefits of it even when the more cautious parts of you aren’t convinced that it will work. Self-doubt is your ego’s default position. Push it aside and choose to show up and follow the steps that focus you on moving forward with your new and stronger life passion.

It is dangerous to remain undecided for a long time. You have to feel the pain of staying at the same stage.  Goal setting, motivation, curiosity for new knowledge and a desire for self-mastery are the steps to be taken at this stage. You should believe that your brain is designed to be an effective dreamer and a creative problem-solver.  True confidence is not about winning or losing but is about knowing that regardless of what happens, you will be at peace with yourself.  “Awaken your strongest self” is the best thing you can do for your life, for your family, your career and yourself.  All the best.

368. Power of words

Words have real power. Words have the energy to help,  to hurt, to heal, to cool the mind and do harm. Words can light fire in the minds of people and and they can also wring tears from the hardest hearts.  Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair.

We must practice the discipline of  speaking in a way that conveys respect, gentleness and humility. We communicate with others in the society through our words. We should train our children from the young age to speak good words. The right speech from our tongue is the sign of leading a moral life. The perfect selection of words show our maturity.

Let us be kind to all and speak words that give inspiration, enthusiasm, encouragement to others. Everybody wants to hear the kind and sweet words only.  We use words to convey our feelings, thoughts  and impression. Even if others irritate us with  their behavior or words, we should not react immediately in the same way. We should build our character strongly in such a way that bad words will not come from our mouth.

Speaking the truth in a loving way is a good way of approach. During a conversation with others, we must listen patiently, speak tactfully and tell the truth as we understand it.  We must select good words  and speak in a pleasing way with direct eye contact  & decent body language.

Let us understand the power of words to lead a successful life.

350. Assertiveness

We should have the courage to say “No”, when others compel us to say “Yes” & when we are right. That courage is known as assertiveness. Not only this, many positive qualities combined with  boldness make us to act or react firmly. Assertiveness is a skill regularly referred to in social and communication skills training. Being assertive means being able to stand up for your own or other people’s rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive, or passively accepting ‘wrong’.

Assertiveness was increasingly singled out as a behavioral skill taught by many  personal development experts,  behavior therapists, and cognitive behavioral therapists. Assertiveness is often linked to self-esteem and self-prestige. Assertiveness is based on balance. It requires being forthright about your wants and needs while still considering the rights, needs, and wants of others.

Assertiveness involves advocating for yourself in a way that is positive and proactive. It also means being clear, direct and honest. Assertiveness is a skill that takes practice. It may always be easier for you to swallow your feelings, scream at someone or give them the silent treatment. But assertiveness is a better strategy. It works because it respects you and others.

Assertive behavior includes being open in expressing wishes, thoughts and feelings and encouraging others to do likewise. It is also compulsory of listening to the views of others and responding appropriately, whether in agreement with those views or not. We should have the courage for accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate to others. We should cultivate the habit of regularly expressing appreciation of others for what they have done or are doing. We should be ready  to admit to mistakes and apologise. Maintaining self-control.

 

347. E-fasting

We see that most of the youngsters and some elders are getting  addicted to social media. They simply waste many precious hours daily  on facebook, twitter and so on. Social media is a double-edged sword, providing both benefits and drawbacks. Spending excessive time, often repeatedly and aimlessly, on social media can be called an addiction. In fact, social media could even be seen to have become a national obsession.

What is the result of this addiction?  Poor social relationships, isolation from the society, stress, victimisation, depression, anxiety and carelessness are to be riped due to this addiction. With the growing use of social media, these problems will not disappear in the near future. Already, people are talking about how we can unshackle ourselves from social media. It is essential to  understand the social media usage which will help you to control your addiction and regain control of  time.

Electronic fasting (e-fasting) can be seen as abstention from electronic devices and services, such as smartphones and social media. Total abstinence from social media may not possible, but the following  tips  could help to alleviate social media addiction, in the form of e-fasting.

How to do E-fasting? Decide on a specific day when you will stay clear of social media. This might increase your anxiety in the short term, but the time away will enable you to perform other activities. If you can do it for one day, then next time try two days or a weekend. When you get back to your social media, you can establish a better disciplined access routine.

Set some rules that only allow you to connect to social media at specific times of the day. For example, browsing for a limited time in the evening or not browsing when in bed. Think of the urge to check incessantly and consider whether it is important or can wait for another time. We can disable alerts and notifications. If disabling alerts and notifications does not do the trick, consider deleting social media apps completely from your smartphone. As most people access social media platforms from their smartphone, removing these apps would mean less ease of access. You will then only have access to social media from a personal computer.

The aim of e-fasting is to enable you to reclaim your life, achieve a balance of life and not become hostage to social media.

314. Good Guest

Everybody will have a necessity to go to somebody’s house as guest.  Our attitude and behavior will make us  earn good name. Let us see how to achieve it?

First we have to inform the host about our arrival. We should also check whether they are available at the station and free. We should not stand alone after reaching there. We should mingle with all in that family.  We should know our limitations and should not interfere in their family matters. We should not expect much comfort in our stay. We have to adjust with what we get there.

Our behavior should be polite and pleasing. We have to adapt to the situation. We cannot expect special treatment. We should be flexible and should not irritate the hosts in any way. Our kids may be naughty but we should not allow them to create a chaos there. We should adjust to the food habits of the hosts and punctual at the right time on dining table.

We should keep our guest area neat and clean. We have to help the hosts in the house  chore. When we going there for sight seeing, we have to call the hosts to accompany. We should be liberal to make expenses for them also.  When we go out alone, we have to return home in time. If we are taking food outside, we have to inform them well before time. At home, we should leave the hosts alone to attend their personal works. We should not bring guests without the permission of the host.

We should not criticize or compare our hosts. We have to thank them before leaving and we should not forget to invite them to our place. So, it is easy to be a good guest.

306. Come out of comfort zone

Everybody dreams of leading  a comfortable life. He/she feels that if they could make the life of their family members, especially children, without any obstacle/burden/challenge, he/she has succeeded in life. Actually, it is not so.

Many children go to school by car. If the car hasn’t come one day to pick up, they feel nervous. Why cann’t we make them to travel by public bus occasionally. We have to teach them some simple household works, from the beginning. Moreover, we have to train the children to get ready for school by themselves and also take care of homework / preparation for test / school project  etc  individually. We can give suggestions but we should not do their works. We have to talk about our financial condition to the child without hesitation and we have to teach them how to lead a simple life happily.

Next, we think about the women in the family. Whether it is mother or wife, every woman should know to manage household works both indoor and outdoor individually. Normally, women when they got used to live in a comfort zone, hesitate to come out of it.  We should allow them to try new things, whether they fail or succeed. A man feels proud by saying that he does everything for the family and he never allows his wife to go out alone for anything. This attitude is wrong. She should also know to  go out and do some works for the family overcoming hurdles. The women should be allowed to take decisions for the welfare of the family. Women should also take interest in doing some tough work which needs hardwork and challenge. The wife should know fully the things related to finance in the family.

Lastly, I want to talk about men. They should try to work in different routes and cultivate the habit of taking right decision at the right time. They should act with courage while doing risky jobs. Be brave to face failures and adverse comments.  If  they  got fear about anything, they should keep on trying to overcome it.   They should be ready to accept their mistakes. They should not try to put their mistakes on somebodyelse.

Let us be ready to enjoy the unknown things which may happen in our life. The mixture of anticipation and anxiety  clearly bring us from our comfort zone and prepare us for any challenge in life.

194. Never give up

When a child or his parents say that they could not attend a function as the child has got his exam, people used to say, “Is he going to write the IAS exam?”  Everybody knows that IAS exam is the toughest of all exams. The person who has got the goal to pass  this exam has to sacrifice a lot. After passing the exam, the society looks at him/her with respect that will last throughout his/her life.

Previously there was a myth that only rich people can try for IAS. Now, many persons from bottom line are proving their talents.

Two years back, a tailor’s son Nirish succeeded in IAS exams  after facing failure for three times which shows that poverty is not an impediment  to success.

Suchitra from Lucknow has realised her dream of passing civil services exam in third attempt. Sandeep Kaur from Chandigarh cracked the tough civil services exam, being the daughter of a peon in revenue department.

Jayaganesh from vellore district got through in IAS exam after failing for 6 times. He succeeded in 7th and last attempt, after studying BE.

This year, a driver’s daughter from Tamilnadu passed in IAS exam, after crossing many hurdles.

There are many more true stories like these in India. One point is to be noted that all these people have tasted failure first before seeing success.  “Never give up” is the manthra  for success.

190. Some mistakes successful people won’t make

In spite of putting all efforts, it is not easy to be successful. Some silly mistakes may pull us down. Some people jump at every development and try every new thing. Deep pursual of a single thing is most important.

Many people will run away if asked to take responsibility. Whether right or wrong, we should be ready to take responsibility while doing a thing. Similarly, whether the result is good or bad, we should have the courage to accept it. When failure comes, we should not try to put the blame on others. By owning a mistake, we learn  a lesson that we should not repeat it and the consequences  of the mistake.

We should not isolate ourselves from others. We should let others to join us. The ideas of others may be helpful to achieve our goal. We should know to enjoy our success. Then only, we can plan a new thing. By making others worse, we should not try to win. We should not be afraid of sarcasm and sniping.

Everybody wants to come first. But, in some actions we should be last. They are last to give up, last to leave, last to keep trying and last to leave the hold on principles and values. Instead of acquiring new things, we should feel proud in doing something new or useful. We need not always have big goals to succeed. We should not hide our ideas in mind thinking that  somebody may tease us.

So, go ahead and be a successful person in life, avoiding the above mistakes.